I Will Not Accept This Rose

Why "The Golden Bachelor" is Flawed

The pop culture media is abuzz with the announcement of Gerry Turner as the first “Golden Bachelor.”

If I hear the word “zaddy” again, I might vomit.

And although I am not naive enough to believe that reality TV contains anything remotely real, I’m calling total BS on this casting choice.

First, he was married for 40+ years to his high school sweetheart. The reality is that nearly 70% of marriages are over by 40 years, so he’s an outlier.

He’s athletic, apparently wealthy, and TV-handsome. That’s NOT your typical 71-year-old dude I’ve met over the years I’ve been single.

Perhaps we’ll find out in the fantasy suites whether or not he has ED issues, although he’s already implied that the suites may be very different than they are with the young bachelors and bachelorettes. On the one hand, one might argue that he’s showing respect for the women and is not simply out for a booty call. But it also implies that older people are not interested in sex, which is far from the truth — and perpetuates a stereotype.

But I’ll reserve judgment on that until the final three are selected.

He’s also gone on record saying that although he asked to be matched with women in their 60s and 70s, he’s leaving the final casting up to the producers. If they pair him with 30-something-year-old hotties, that would be closer to reality, but it’s obnoxious nonetheless.

ABC could have cast a woman as their first star in the spin-off, but that probably wouldn’t have scored high ratings. After all, who wants to watch women >50 find happiness (other than me and my friends, of course)?

Gerry, on the other hand, got an outpouring of love from his fellow bros on the “Bachelors Tell All” show. They cheered his name as if he were going off to save humanity.

I haven’t decided yet if I’ll boycott or simply use the show as more fodder for this blog and my controlled rage against a world that generally treats single 71-year-old men as “catches” and 67-year-old women as “over the hill.”

And I hope that Gerry does find a replacement for “the love of his life” and that she has the staying power to change his Depends one day. After all, we bachelorettes outlive our male counterparts!

Full disclosure: I answered the casting call when the Bachelor franchise first said they were doing a reality TV show for older singles. I was doing it mainly for social media clout, I confess. The above views are NOT because I didn’t get a callback (although I still contend I would have been a great vixen and stirred-up much drama in the mansion).