Mind the (Age) Gap

How young is too young?

Last week, an ex-bf admitted that he had cheated on me with a woman who is now 24. That means she was 21 when he took her to Europe. (He lied to me at the time, saying he was with family. I suppose she could pass for his daughter since he was 57 then.)

I'm not judging the age gap…just the lie.

But it did get me thinking about the whole age span thing. When I first became single, I tried dating younger guys. But when someone referred to my date as my son, I decided to rethink my strategy.

Plus, even when younger men and women say they don't want kids, you can't really trust that. After all, the human brain isn't fully formed until at least 25, and needs and wants can shift throughout one's life.

The terms Cougar and Manther have made their way into our lexicon. Dating websites have sprung up for people who are looking for older or younger partners.

When I'm out with my friends, we sometimes watch couples on dates and try to guess “date or daughter.”

Everyone has specific needs and desires. The stats around older women dating younger men are pretty interesting. And here are some of the many reasons older men are attracted to younger women.

The men who “date down” has significantly eroded the 50+ dating pool. As a 66 year old woman I probably don't even make it into many online searches.

A girlfriend recently told me I should date men in their 40s. But would they…

• Be able to quote The Godfather?

• Know who all the Beatles were?

• Respect me or be repelled when I get senior discounts at hotels and movies?

• Ultimately feel they missed out on raising their own families?

• Want help raising their young kids?

• Have as much time and financial flexibility as I do?

Of course, the appeal of having a young attractive person on your arm or in your bed can be a huge ego rush. But if you're thinking long-term, a 20, 30, or even 40-year age gap may present problems.

In fact, studies show that younger partners are more likely to initiate divorces.

I was young and single once. I dated older guys. I loved their financial and career stability. But I worried that they might ultimately get in the way of my enjoying my youth.

Unless someone really loves you, they may not be equipped to put up with a funky prostate, trips to the playground with your grandkids, or the responsibilities that come with caring for aging parents.

But if you need or want someone in your life who's younger than your children, go for it. Just be aware that it has unique challenges.

And you might need to learn how to dance on TikTok and drink White Claw. Just sayin’….