Sorry, 50+ Dudes...Match is NOT Pornhub!
Show a little respect to a lady, please!
It started tamely enough.
I was being “courted” via a message from a 60+ guy who appeared to be a respectable retired businessman with a decent profile and pix.
His early texts were unassuming and polite.
And then, there it was…
No, not a dick pic. But it's just as jarring and offensive.
He sent a note out of the blue that basically said that he couldn’t sleep at 4AM, so he looked at my profile pictures — which are pretty chaste, except for one of me in a slinky cocktail dress (which I’m now tempted to remove).
Looking at my pictures is certainly not a crime. But…
My profile clearly states that I’m looking for a brain- and heart-based long-term relationship. Nothing particularly sexual about it.
However, he went on to tell me how he missed intimacy and that my photos really aroused him.
I sent him a polite note, letting him know I am not on Match for that reason.
He said he understood. But then he persisted. And persisted.
ICK! Although he gets points for candor, I was totally skeeved out and immediately blocked him. (I didn’t report him — which was an option. Some women may like that type of banter. And I’m TOTALLY ok with flirty texting — and perhaps even sexting — once I’ve been involved with someone for a while.
I know from speaking with my girlfriends of all ages that I’m not alone. Lots of men lead with sex. That’s what THEY want, but even after 5+ decades of dealing with women, they still don’t know how to read the (online) room or that, for most quality women, the way to their hoo-hah is through their brain and heart.
I’m taking a break from the apps for a while. Part of the “Summer of Nancy” entails putting myself and my true friends first and trusting that my person is out there somewhere. I may have already met them, but the timing may be off.
So dudes, please:
Read profiles thoroughly
Remember that no means no — in both the real world and the online world
Ask yourself, “How would I feel if someone sent notes like this to my daughter, mother, or sister?
If your main goal is “getting off,” you have lots of options for sites. Up your tech skills if you don’t know that!
You can find more online dating tips here.
And to all my readers and prospective suitors: Remember that I NEVER disclose details of my personal life involving people I like and trust. I only share inspiring or especially (anonymous and personal) icky stories (like this one).