Polyamory

Amor or Just Poly?

Polyamory is having a moment.

I watched the new Netflix series about Ashley Madison, and it features a poly couple who talk openly and honestly about their arrangement. She’s baking cookies (giving it a wholesome touch).

“Seeking Sister Wife” is now in its fifth season on TLC. Audience demand is off the charts!

For those naive readers who haven’t heard of polyamory before, it’s defined by AI (the source of all truths) as:

“A type of non-monogamy where people have multiple sexual or romantic relationships with the knowledge and consent of all parties involved. The word "polyamory" comes from the Greek words polloí (many) and amor (love). Polyamory can involve both heterosexual and LBGT relationships and is often practiced privately.”

Not a bad definition for a bot who has never actually had sex!

Dating sites abound with people who state in their profiles that they don’t know what they’re looking for. Others admit they are involved in ENM relationships or open marriages (more on that in a future article).

No judgment here.

But I can’t help but ask myself (as the Lois Lane of Sex and Love>50), was the desire for multiple partners always a thing, and we’re just starting to talk openly about it now?

I’m not the only writer who has cozied up to this topic. The New Yorker published a great article about it last year. My friend Stella Fosse featured this terrific piece about Kathy Labriola’s book.

Here’s another really intelligent and thoughtful discussion of the topic, centered on polyamory in later life. My favorite part is this quote: “For me, right now, this is what polyamory looks like: people taking care of each other and making the best of the rest of our lives.”

As open-minded and wild as I can be, I think that deep down, I’m something of an insecure romantic. I’ll share my salad, let others take a sip of my cocktail, and invite friends to my home and treat them as friends and family.

But sharing a penis or opening up my VJ to multiple partners still kinda gives me the ick. And my heart and head are also treasured body parts. I can juggle many things in life, but juggling multiple partners feels like work.

I suppose it’s better than the alternative — “cheating.”

The level of honesty and communication in poly relationships is impressive, I admit. And perhaps we aren’t really wired to be monogamous.

In my opinion, true connection and intimacy (and some level of commitment) should come before experimentation and involvement with other partners.

So, for now, my only “poly” is reading multiple sources and talking to lots of different people about this lifestyle.

Let me hold on to my “one true love” fantasy for at least a little while. I can live vicariously through the media.

What are your thoughts? Please comment or get in touch. I also plan to cover this topic on my podcast!