Love Shack or House of Horrors?

Hooking-Up >50

I promised I’d stop writing about The Golden Bachelor.

And I’ll stick to that promise.

But my final (until the wedding, perhaps) post about Gerry, The Fantasy Suites, and honesty got me thinking about the “new rules” of intimacy.

As many perspectives exist on the topic as there are Kama Sutra positions. (You can even get an app that claims 400 of them!)

But the bottom line (or topline, if you prefer) is that everyone has different “rules” for when couples should get up close and personal (physically).

Over the years that I’ve been single (and 50), I’ve heard many stories:

• The >50 guy who slept with five women on the first date five nights in a row, because they encouraged it.

• The >50 woman who really thought she had met “her person” only to find out he was dating (and sleeping with) many other women in different states.

• The people who thought they were crazy for each other, and then felt that the intimacy was “meh” and then they were in the awkward position of figuring out what to do next. Some people simply ghost their partner, which can be confusing and hurtful.

• The men and women who have specific rules like “3 Dates,” “5 Dates,” or even a dollar threshold in date spending.

• The people who fell into bed immediately or with a previously platonic friend, only to find out it was long-term true love. (I watched “When Harry Met Sally” again and pondered this type of situation and whether it mainly exists in fiction. BTW….the themes have held up well over 30+ years, although I really preferred Meg Ryan’s original face.)

Like many things in life, no correct answer exists. The real question is, “What does physical intimacy mean to me, and how may I feel the next morning if I never hear from this person again?” or “If I found out that the things they said to me were also being said to other people in other beds?”

How much do we REALLY know about the people we meet online? They can post great pix and prose, make it through a few dates on their best behavior, and then do or say something that makes you say, “WTF?”

And then we have the whole issue of STDs, which are skyrocketing in the >50 population. In fact, if you’re a germaphobe, you might not even want to click on this link.

The doors to my own “Fantasy Suite” have been padlocked for a while. I want a true mental connection, honesty, and some promise of a future relationship before getting physical.

Stuff gets said in the throes of passion that may not prove to be true long-term, and people can get hurt.

We all need the right amount of honesty and communication to make our own decisions.

So, before you enter “The Love Shack,” have direct conversations, don’t be afraid to ask the tough questions, and then take your chances!