How Many Vaginas Does One Man Need?

A Visit to the Hole Buffet Table

Bumble has a multiple choice in response to the prompt “What Do You Want From Your Dates?”

Two of the six options are:

• Intimacy Without Commitment

• Ethical Non-Monogamy

In other words, people (men and women) who are seeking multiple partners can state their desires upfront.

I would argue that “Intimacy Without Commitment” is just another way of saying “F-buddy” and that the word “intimacy” is something of an over-promise. Can you be truly intimate with someone you’ve just met? Maybe I’m just old-fashioned.

The Ethical Non-Monogamy thing is just a way of sampling multiple dishes on the buffet table while telling your fellow diner that you’re going back for seconds or thirds and that you still have a craving for enchiladas even though you just consumed a vast selection from the salad bar and a plate of shrimp.

I asked one of my polyamorous guy friends why so many men have an appetite for multiple partners. It comes down to:

• The thrill of newness

• The “naughty little boy” syndrome, where someone can get a charge from the feeling that they’re cheating

• An exploratory phase (which might last forever), when someone is trying to figure out precisely what they seek in a partner

• An ego feed

• A genuine love and appreciation for different types of women. But unless you’re 100% clear with someone up front that you’ll be having multiple partners, love doesn’t really apply

• A fear of commitment

I’m not judging. I also know that lots of men out there are willing to be monogamous if they find “the right person.”

But the public acceptance of “multiples” is an interesting trend. A study by Pew Research revealed that younger people are more accepting of open marriages than older adults.

And if data gets you hot, the chart below reveals some interesting views of monogamy. I’d love to hear YOUR theories?