Horny, Classless, or Both?
How to Present Yourself Live or Online: Part 3
You may have heard about hookup culture and the rise of the fuckboy
But who would guess that the fuckgeezer is now also alive and well? And, apparently, extremely horny.
I define an FG as a man over 50 who leads a conversation with blatant sexual talk.
He gets handsy minutes into a first date, often proudly opines about his penis, and may even ghost you after a night of passion.
I'm not talking about mild flirting or clever innuendo. I'm referencing full-on sexting, personal graphic queries, and unwanted pawing.
What you choose to talk about in a first meeting or first conversation can make or break a relationship.
First, let me establish two things about sex and dating >50:
I am hardly a prude and would likely be categorized as sex-positive. Sex is a natural part of life and, with the right partner and meds, we can enjoy it up to our triple digits.
This post is also not intended to man-bash. If I dated women, I could probably come up with a female equivalent. (In fact, if any of my male readers would like to write Part 4 of this series, have at it!)
This week, I encountered multiple men who vaulted immediately and obviously into sex talk. They asked highly specific and personal questions within hours of meeting me.
Shaken and insecure, I even asked a couple of my (platonic) male friends if they found my profile or my personality overly seductive. They said “no.”
Let's Get it On…NOW!
Many middle-aged men have been in sexless marriages or lost their partners. They have strong physical needs. I get that.
“We’re all a bunch of dogs,”
I overheard a man declare at a bar one night.
But even dogs don’t run around in the park humping every passerby and fellow pup.
Patience and respect are qualities that one might expect from men who’ve made at least fifty trips around the sun.
But many guys seem to see the dating apps as the human equivalent of DoorDash. They believe they can just order up a vagina and it will arrive within an hour.
Or, maybe they think that the first couple of conversations are like job interviews where instead of asking, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” you simply ask “How do you like oral?”
I’m sure some women perpetuate the myth that sex talk is always on the table. But most of my female friends share my view of dating and relationships.
Our brains, hearts, and VJs are hardwired together and we often need physical attraction, mental connection, and at least a little wooing to set us aflutter.
So, even if you’ve been celibate for a decade and crave a woman’s touch, show a little respect and slow your roll.
When we gently say that we're uncomfortable, please don't accuse us of being frigid, humorless or judgemental.
Before you start talking about your boner, my boobs, or your preferences between the sheets, hit the pause button and imagine someone talking that way to your daughter, mother, or sister.
You may ultimately find that you attract more of the right kinds of women in the long run — AND you just might get that mindblowing sex that you crave too!
And won't that be a happy ending?