Beyond Bumble (and Tinder and Match and Hinge and....)

How to Meet People IRL

Another year comes to a close and you may still be single and swiping (and perhaps burned out and/or disgusted).

I have nicknamed dating apps “the cesspool of broken toys,” and although I’ve met some terrific people over the past decade (and remain good friends with some of the men I’ve dated), I’m ending 2023 single.

And no, nothing is seriously wrong with me (as I addressed on this podcast).

I just want to choose wisely this time.

Break-ups suck and I am tired of men who can’t commit (because they love eating off the vast buffet of online dating options or are set in their ways). I don’t want to be “Nurse Nancy” or a bank account and activity planner and perpetual cheerleader.

So, I’d rather stay single than “get a boyfriend” just to do stuff with.

But enough about me.

What’s interesting is that many of the dating sites have started hosting live events. Started by Match, the trend has now been picked up by Bumble and Pear (which isn’t even really an app — it’s a ring you wear to signal you’re single and open to talking to potential suitors.)

Here are 10 other ways you can meet like-minded people off the apps.

1. Eat alone at a diner counter or a bar and choose a seat next to another solo person. (I’ve made friends this way too!)

2. Go to local singles events through your local MeetUp.

3. Wait in lines in stores, at movie theaters, and at concerts. You never know who might be standing in front of or behind you.

4. Be open to meeting people on planes and trains. I know this is a tricky one and not for everyone. Listen to this episode about long-distance dating.

5. Ask your friends for introductions. Be clear about what you’re looking for.

6. Start up social media conversations with interesting people but check their marital status on Facebook first and don’t be creepy on LinkedIn.

7. Take a class. Your fellow “students” will be interested in the same topic.

8. Take a tour (museum, travel, etc.)

9. Join a gym and take classes or learn to play a new sport. (I may bite the bullet and learn pickleball.)

10. Wherever you go or whatever you do, be positive and real. Smile and don’t be afraid to start conversations with strangers. And if you don’t get a smile back or get a cold shoulder, do not despair. Just keep “swiping” IRL!

As my mother used to say “There’s a cover for every pot.” You may just be hanging out in the wrong cupboard!